madokasthighsocks: jtravisrolko: To all the...

madokasthighsocks:

jtravisrolko:

To all the women of the world,

If you’ve rejected me, I hate you. If we’re just friends, our friendship is over. If we don’t know each other, I will never offer you mere friendship. The friendship I’ve offered to your sex has been abused too much and for too long. I now spit at the concept. So I offer you two options and two options only: take this dick, or fuck off and die. Spread your legs, or go fall on a knife. Wet my prick, or eat a fucking bullet. In other words, if you don’t want to fuck me, then stay out of my life forever. If you don’t want to fuck me, I honestly couldn’t care less if you died. Those are the only options you get. Those are the only options you deserve.

tumblr user jtravisrolko sighs, leaning back in his chair with a huff of satisfaction. His ego and chest have both swelled, and he jerks forward again, rereading the heartfelt, offensive blog post he’s just written. He taps his fingers excitedly across the keys, just light enough to graze over the letters. He licks his lips, savoring every misogynistic intonation in his venomous words. He is the epitome of badass.

The hot air finally rises to his head, steam flushing his face from the inside, and he releases the prideful pressure in a fit of laughter. How arrogant! How raw, how powerful! How beautiful the words he’s written are!

His excitement does not die down, nearly to his surprise. He continues to laugh and laugh, his voice reaching a crescendo now. Tears begin to spill from his eyes, his vocal chords rawly scraping together. He becomes vaguely aware that his throat is in horrible pain, but he is too excited to stop his celebration.

Drool is pouring from his open jaw, and he is subconsciously gargling the spittle in the back of his throat. There is saliva coating his computer monitor from his raucous laughter. Still shrieking with vindictive glee, tumblr user jtravisrolko hurriedly turns on Ke$ha’s hit single We R Who We R before lurching forward onto the floor and both convulsing and dancing simultaneously on his hands and feet.

(via mantrabent)

#something something fedora #something something cheeto crumbs

11 months ago ・ 3355 notes

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